@Phil - pre - vis 2

hi Phil here are the improvements of from the last @Phil, I hope you like and ill get back to you on 29th may :)


Comments

  1. Hey Boots - hope you enjoyed your hols :) Some feedback for you:

    On 'Yes, you've heard it right'... that feels like the camera should track in again for another cheesy close-up for emphasis.

    When you're cutting between different camera angles, try and cut on a movement and match that movement between the two different shots - this is called continuity editing - so in shot one, we see the Captain move his head to the left; when you cut to Shot 2, make sure that you're cutting to a point that continues the movement of the Captain's head - when you get this link right between different shots but connecting them via the same action, you'll see that the jump between the 2 shots will nearly disappear. Have a go and hopefully you'll see what I mean.

    'With great power comes great responsibility' - that should be another heroic close-up for emphasis.

    I think you should lose the hard border for your titles once we get inside the nucleus (i.e. prophase) It's a big ugly - maybe look at other kinds of shapes used a lot in comics, or lose the border completely.

    Sound design! Explosions accompanying the 'Pow!' text - sci-fi type sounds for the tentacles growing etc - all of this stuff inside the nucleus needs more sound (and therefore, more fun!).

    Finally, I think the other 'Captain Excellent' should also leave with the crowds of others, leaving the original Captain all by himself - this will make more sense of your ending and him saying 'hello'. You need sound effects to accompany the crowds leaving, and I wonder, if instead of just a fade to black, you could do it as if the 'stage lights' are being turned off one by one, as if the film studio is being shut down - so first one area of the 'stage' goes dark, then another, and then another, until Captain Excellent is all alone under a single spot-light, and then 'kerchunk' - the last light is off - the end. Find some good SFX of lights being turned off and generators powering down etc to make this work.

    Finally, in terms of your text - be refined about how you fade-in and fade-out your various titles - make sure the 'Boom' and 'Pow' assets that fly forwards etc are really tidy and really crisp - no tatty edges, no low resolution, and no flies in the ointment please!

    Now go and make this amazing!!!! :)



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    1. thank you phil ill get right on it !!!!! :)

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